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    • credits
    Layout: Detonated Love
    Pictures: Ohhspontaneityy
    Stocks: Excentric
    Edited: Shamita
    21 February 2007
    11:18 PM

    revising geog now.
    but im not really focussing.
    she came in tdae.
    and i didnt want her to see my face larh.
    or else she'll be reminded abt the incident what.
    my life's in a mess rite now.
    the relationships so complicated.
    relationship with mummy juz sucks.
    i havent spoken to her since she went off overseas.
    and did i mention?
    she went off without telling me.
    relationship with daddy is not any better.
    he juz calls up everyday and enquires abt me.
    he doesnt talk to me, he juz enquires from MY MAID.
    and i have no idea where the hell is he.
    relationship with guy SPACE friends is deteriorating.
    which is kinda good i guess.
    but that also means that ive got no distractions.
    and that brings me to the most disturbing thing.
    the relationship with hydrogen. [does it even exist?]
    i called her last night.
    i was juz so disturbed by evrything and you knw, i had this feeling that something bad was gonna happen.
    i couldnt concentrate on studying at all and i really needed her.
    but she said she was busy so i juz let it go.
    and she didnt msg or call aft that larh.
    fine, i knw i shdnt expect things frm her.
    thats why im not blaming her.
    to summarize it all, ive lost hope.
    and the feeling of losing hope is a sadness i cant explain.
    beneath the fake smiles and laughter, there is smth more.
    i mean, cmon larh, ive held on for a year plus.
    and we are nowhere near close.
    i think its time i gave up anw.
    each time we msg/talk, it upsets me a lot.
    at the end of the convo, she said "see u on wed" when it was only sunday larh.
    it juz makes me feel so disappointed, angry and upset.
    actually whats the point of talking abt this?
    i might as well spend time studying smth.
    im so sure im gonna screw common tests.
    i cant seem to concentrate larh.
    with a disturbed mind and heart, im definitely gonna screw it.
    and that will juz add on to my worries.
    im sorry and i love you hydrogen.
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